I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
