is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
