I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
