She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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