Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
