I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
