what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
