toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
