I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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