It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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