What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
this boner is exhausting
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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