He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
whose parrot is this?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
