If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We have started to decorate penises.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
