xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize