dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
