At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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