The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
