And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize