We should be called the Road Head Warriors
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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