i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
