So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
