it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
