My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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