I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
