He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
why do cheetos always look like penises
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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