I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
my liver is dry heaving
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
