we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
