I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
