Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
