there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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