The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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