Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you win again, gameday.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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