the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
