home. puking in laundry basket.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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