half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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