There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
