My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
