You're my little dorito
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
