dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
