The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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