The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
