On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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