It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
