and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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