Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
