I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
