Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
