i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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