Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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