i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize