At least make sure they are 18
Why
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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