Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
