You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
