I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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