sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I intend to get homeless drunk
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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