like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Houston, we have a squirter
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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