put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
