No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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