not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Boobs are out for the taking
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
